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Joke of the Day

"[Genie] Last wish idiot, impress me. [Me] I want Morgan Freeman to narrate my eulogy [drops dead] [Morgan Freeman] He was an idiot."

"Why does the pedophile like minecraft? Because he liked playin around all those miners."

"I saw your link on Facebook. What happened next will blow your mind.......I didn't open it."

"What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships."

"I heard that a few of the /r/Science mods also moderate /r/Jokes... [deleted]"

"Mom on Logic Finished Logic class, attempting to explain Boolean algebra to Mom. She listens intently, waits for me to finish, and said ""Bouillon?? That's for soup!"""

"What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."

"My mother's maiden name is Password"

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone"

"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."