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Joke of the Day

"Timmy, you're a great son but the YouTube analytics data from our home movies show that people think you're boring so go live in the attic."

"Who's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken"

"What is something that everyone overlooks no matter how hard they try not to? Their nose"

"How to tell the difference between a Crocodile and a Alligator Well one you see in a while, and the other you see later."

"So I joined a fantasy football league I realize that I don't watch football, but I really wanted to see Gandalf pass the ball to Hermione only to be intercepted by a dragon."

"your mom is so stupid.... when I said it was chilly out she ran out the door with a spoon"

"Why do girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"

"Girl: How long is your dick? Me: I'm not sure I only have 1 ruler"

"My buddy Bob got fired from McDonald's He just couldn't ketchup in the training."

"A patient kept complaining about his life-support machine making a weird noise So I tried turning it off and back on again."