141946

Joke of the Day

"The year is 2246. Disease and hunger have been eradicated. The terraforming of Mars is complete. The symbol for Save is still a floppy disk."

"if i was a ghost i would probably still just watch netflix"

"What do you call a constipated German? far-from-poopin"

"Two Polish guys are hunting for bears in the woods. They come across a fork in the road with a sign that says ""BEAR LEFT"" They both turn around and go home."

"""You think I'm smart, right?"" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started."

"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."

"Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory!"

"Me: Why don't I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross."

"May he without sin cast the first stone [Everybody picks up rocks] Sharing Netflix passwords counts as sin [Everybody puts rocks back down]"

"Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed? Son: I couldn't find a spider."