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Joke of the Day
"I got a sweater for Christmas. Wish I'd gotten a screamer or a squirter."
Next Joke
"Q: Why did the pacifist /b/tard try to calm everyone down? **A:** He did it for the *lullz*"
"Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?"
"My mom's MILFshake brings all the boys to the I can't even stomach this joke."
"Me: *crawls in window* Him: What are you doing?! Me: You're my boyfriend now? Him: I'm calling the cops Me: But you retweeted me??"
"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"
"Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions"
"I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in -My dog, all day long."
"What driver doesn't have a license? A screwdriver"
"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."