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Joke of the Day

"Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window."

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four it'd be a chicken sedan."

"Did you hear about the midget, fortune teller who was wanted by the police? It was a small medium at large."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the OTTER side!"

"When you say, ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans,"" all I hear is, ""There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"Forgot we bought a Christmas tree. Woke up at 2 a.m., went to pee, thought it was a guy and almost called the cops on it."

"My girlfriend and I step outside to smoke As soon as we get outside shes says, ""brrrrr, it's windy!"" And I responded, ""actually, its mondy"""

"At the store: Sir, do you have cotton balls? Look, if I had cotton balls my kids would be plush toys!"