141911

Joke of the Day

"[Mon] Boss: Let's talk about your clothes Adam: But it's my best leaf B: You need officewear A: Understood [Tues] B: Is that a sticky note?"

"My favorite exercise after a heavy meal is regret."

"""Why'd the chicken cross the road?"" ""Why Daddy?"" ""To get to the other side!"" ""Did it look both ways?"" ""It was a...yes. Yes it did."""

"Sales of Advent calendars down by 80% this year It looks like their days are numbered"

"Why did the fish sink? (This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick."

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."

"A friend asked me ""As a young boy, was your mother very strict?"" I said ""Let's get one thing straight, my mother was *never* a young boy."""

"Whats the most disappointing thing for dads on Christmas? When he gets a sweater, but he was hoping for a screamer or a squirter."

"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."

"What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement? an erection that points north."