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Joke of the Day
"Do you know what paraplegics can't stand? *that"
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"Who is the world s worst golfer? Hitler"
"""Haha, Imagine Dragons. What a dumb band name."" -Neutral Milk Hotel fans"
"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."
"Ever had sex so good... That you told your wife when you got home?"
"[At make-up counter] But does this lipstick come off of a taint?"
"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."
"Two guys walk into a bar You think the second one would be smart enough to duck"
"Did you hear Rolf Harris is dyslexic? rofl"
"Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!"