216795

Joke of the Day

"ME: Have you seen my denim jacket? GF: No, but it's okay. Just checked the weather & it's not going to be the 1980s today..."

"Does killing time damage eternity?"

"""Are you sure this lawyer is good?"" Yeah, why? ""He pronounced sue like sway"""

"My wife saw a psychic and found out I was cheating That's the last time I banged a psychic"

"He's making his list. He's checking it twice. He's gonna find out how many Jews will suffice. Oskar Schindler's coming to town."

"How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!"

"I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase ""my server went down on me"" is no longer a good thing."

"I know you're not supposed to question doctors, but it's weird how my dentist keeps insisting on checking my prostate."

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"I hate when I lose an argument and then seventeen years later I think up a witty come back."