176906

Joke of the Day

"My dad says I'm lazy, but he's wrong. I like work. I could watch it for hours."

"An ice cream truck flips over on the highway, what does it leave? A Rocky Road"

"No thanks, toilets that flush. -kids"

"Why are all these jokes about unhappy relationships? Said my wife as she looked over my shoulder. What a nosy fucking bitch."

"My friend took me to a twilight fencing class. I couldn't really see the point."

"Me: Hi, what's a good school binder for my 10yo girl here? Clerk: Trapper Keeper? Me: Haha, no, she's my own daughter."

"A Mexican walked into a Polish store and greeted every one. He was handed a sausage. Edit: Ok I will walk myself out..."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor."

"When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date."

"I once won an argument with a woman...in this dream I had."