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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why the nobles always mistreated their peasants? Because they're all a bunch of vassals."

"[first date] GIRL: When you said ""fitness freak"" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo"

"I saw a man with a board saying 'Repent for you're sin's, the end of the world is nigh'. I thought 'That's a bad sign'."

"I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die."

"I have a fear of two-letter words I get scared just thinking about it"

"What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help? ""This is not a drill!"""

"I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either."

"Yelling ""Whore!"" in a public place and watching 15 girls turn around is pretty......... fun."

"How is it that magic carpets are able to fly? They are powered by turban engines."

"I'm 22 years old now and my eyesight is worsening,... ...at what point do I get adult supervision?"