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Joke of the Day

"I went to the local library And found out that the post apocalyptic section has been shifted to current affairs after the us elections 2016"

"For fun, the next time you have an attractive waitress- Order a ""quickie"" then act surprised when she tells you it's pronounced ""quiche"""

"Why did Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"doing sports is ninety-eight percemt confidence and two thousand percent talent and three fifths makimg math dudes mad"

"""Hello, is this the number for Japanese food?"" ""No, it's Chinese. Sorry, Wong number."""

"What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!"

"What did one orphan say to another? Get in the Batmobile Robin."

"There's a guy in this Taco Bell bathroom stall so loud I'm not sure if it's performance art or a solstice goat sacrifice."

"I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein."

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"