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Joke of the Day
"My parrot died today... I think its last words were, ""Fuck, I think my parrot is dying."""
Next Joke
"You call it lightning. I call it targeted airstrikes."
"there is this mom at work who breastfeeds her kid every meeting is a lunch meeting"
"what's the most impressive thing about tom cruise performing his own stunts? he does it in heels"
"10 just informed me that exercising releases inner-dolphins. If that's not a reason to exercise, then I don't know what is."
"My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her... Can't believe that chick pea'd herself"
"So prince is dead... Which means that half-way through the embalming process, he'll be a half-blood prince."
"You have to give it to pedophiles They're the only ones who follow the speed limit in school zones"
"Yo mamma so ugly When one direction saw her they went in the other direction"
"Joke about North Korea! [deleted]"