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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards? Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat."

"Why is oxygen like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people"

"Photo Of The Day:- No Matter How Smart You Are, You Will Fall For This (See Photo)"

"No sweetie, mommy's not drinking vodka again. This is potato water."

"What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut."

"There's a giant exploding ball of fire in sky every day, and we're just supposed to be cool with it? Hell no, I'm not into that at all."

"It was so cold out this morning... ...that I saw a lawyer sticking his hands in his *own* pockets."

"Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery? He's not a fan of juvenile plots."

"MAN: What are you doing? ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing MAN: No way will- SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]"