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Joke of the Day

"""I'm half black and I'm trying to decide who I want to have kids with. Do I want them to have every advantage in life, or be able to dance?"""

"I fell into a sewer the other day. It was really shit and draining to get out of."

"What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled? Slow dance."

"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."

"most offensive jokes I want to hear the most offensive jokes you have ever heard or told. Send that shit in. Because I loves me some offensive jokes."

"A guy in a public place, phone out, camera on... He approaches a young woman. ""What are you doing, creep?"" she says. He glances up, smiles, and says ""Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."""

"I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now."

"""Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me."" [whole room] ""AFTER ME"" ""Ok fellas, lets start here"""

"They say my generation is completely narcissistic ... They're just jealous ..."

"How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking, Jk rowling"