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Joke of the Day

"most offensive jokes I want to hear the most offensive jokes you have ever heard or told. Send that shit in. Because I loves me some offensive jokes."

"Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not."

"I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you."

"ME [8:49PM]: on my way, taking a crab GF [8:50PM]: u mean a cab ME [8:52PM]: not exactly. be there in several days"

"There are 3 kinds of people in the world those who can count and those who can't."

"What's the difference between porn and music? Volume..."

"I asked a friend of mine who cheats on his spouse how he sleeps at night. He responded ""With your wife, John"""

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, kinda gross, and picked up at the gas station."

"[me narrating a documentary on urchins] ""look at these boring moist porcupines"""

"What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers"