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Joke of the Day
"Don't give your heart to someone unless you're 100% certain that you're dead."
Next Joke
"Retweeting a compliment is like getting a compliment from someone and then conference calling a bunch of people and telling them about it."
"How do you hit on a Jewish girl? Tell her that she israeli hot!"
"I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder. Now I feel like a distribution."
"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."
"What's your favorite dirty joke? Mine is: Wht do Jewish men have their sons circumsised? Because they know Jewish women can't resist anything 10% off."
"2 Rules to Be Successful 1) Don't tell everyone everything you know. 2)"
"My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers Girls Gone Wilde."
"As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them"
"It was just a homeless man defecating in an elevator, but that's when the real shit went down."