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Joke of the Day
"Don't give your heart to someone unless you're 100% certain that you're dead."
Next Joke
"What was Whitney Houston's favourite kind of co-ordination? Haaaaannnnndd eeeyyyyyyeeeeee"
"Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball? A double!"
"People are mad because MTV doesn't show music videos. What about Fox News? They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)"
"What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed? An under cover cop."
"I never judge people by the color of their skin. That's fucking stupid. I judge them by their cell phones."
"I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything."
"A man goes to his Doctor. man- Doc i cant stop singing Tom Jones songs, have you ever heard of such a thing? Doctor- Its not unusual."
"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."
"There are ten types of people in this world Those who understand binary and.. wait, shit"