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Joke of the Day
"Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball? A double!"
Next Joke
"Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like."
"""Give it to me,"" my girlfriend yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella"
"Why are men the best chefs? Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months."
"Mobster: [tying a cinder block to my ankles] ""You're gonna be sleeping with the fishes..."" Me: ""Umm, it's 'fish'."" M: ""This. This is why."""
"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate They'll kill your dog"
"I asked a grape about parenthood But it didn't know much about baby raisin."
"Bethesda Softworks announce that Fallout 4 will be postponed until April 2016 Don't worry you are on the jokes section"
"Just want to be bitten by a spider without the obligation of becoming a superhero."
"How do you walk a dog with no legs? You don't, you pick it up."