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Joke of the Day

"I just bought something with money at a store. Now I'm taking it home. I guess it's true: you get what you pay for."

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"I hope Death is a woman That way it will never come for me"
"""Bacon gives you cancer"" is the 2015 version of ""touching yourself causes blindness."""
"What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan? Battle Royale with cheese"
"[Tim Burton tries baseball] COACH [rubs eyes]Got it now T: Yes C: Ok. Pitch T: A dark haunted tale starring Johnny De- C: I'm gonna kill him"
"What do you get if you cross Doc Brown and Jay-Z? 1.21 JiggaWhats"
"How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months."
"Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months"
"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke."
"Why didn't Count Dracula get married? He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."
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