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Joke of the Day

"I just bought something with money at a store. Now I'm taking it home. I guess it's true: you get what you pay for."

"After I have sex, I like my women how I like my mailbox outside my house"

"What's the most popular game to play in jail? Smash Brothers"

"""I"" before ""e"" except after ""Old MacDonald had a farm"""

"When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head."

"Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget"

"www.reddit.com See Above."

"Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?"

"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."

"What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons? If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown shoot it down."