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Joke of the Day

"Humility is one of those things you can't really brag about having."

"I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"If Hooters had delivery, would they be called knockers?"

"My girlfriend and I are fighting over my recent hair loss... I really hope it's just a rough patch"

"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."

"Bruce Willis is at IKEA when a toilet plunger falls off a shelf and sticks to his head. he doesn't notice until the following day"

"Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees? In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology."

"5 lil monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off & bumped his head called the doctor & the doctor said U DO NOT HAVE A PERMIT FOR THESE ANIMALS"

"Someone told me: You shouldn't fall in love because you might get hurt.... I said yeah: And you shouldn't fuckin live because you might die.."

"The secret episode. ""Hi! This is Khalid al-Mihdhar... and this is Jackass!"" ^^^I'm ^^^going ^^^to ^^^hell ^^^for ^^^this"