201414

Joke of the Day

"I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly"

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"What do you call a really cheesy thought? A quesaIDEA."

"My friend was knocked down and killed by a speeding truck full of designer Versace dresses The police said he was a fashion victim"

"What do you call two black people bargaining on terms? A Negrotiation"

"Crayons are a lot like M & M's, all the colors taste the same."

"Experiment: text your parents ""got 2 grams for $40"" then right after ""Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you"" Then tweet pic of their response."

"Me: Why am I still single? Brain: You're weird as shit. Body:You're fat. Face:You're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you."

"What's worse than an unfinished joke?"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster, then he rolled over and fell asleep."