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Joke of the Day

"A woman, a Jew, and a Hispanic walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What's this, a presidential election?"""

"The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off."

"I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already."

"The white Xbox One S was just announced. Of course it's 40% smaller than the black one."

"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?"

"What's the hardest part about nailing a baby to a tree? My penis."

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A Dictator."

"*pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?"

"Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a ""homeless romantic""."

"I went to the zoo the other day... They only had a dog. It was a Shih Tzu"