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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: would you chop these onions for me ME: sure WIFE: I meant with a knife ME (tightening the belt on my karate robe): aww man"

"What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at? ""Donald! Duck!"""

"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with cheese"

"What do you call it when you have to listen to rock music obsessively? OC/DC"

"Dad Slapped me For my Bad Skilled Jokes"

"Did you hear they're gonna make a new TV show about Bruce growing up as an unloved child? They're gonna call it Punky Bruceter."

"What did the Belgian Nazis call themselves? The Waffle S.S."

"How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy? I'll let you know when I find out..."

"How are bears related to cooking? The pan... duh"

"Half of Chinese men have cataracts... The other half drive Lincolns."