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Joke of the Day

"Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!"

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids IV: They shrink everyone on earth on purpose The planet will never run out of resources Everyone is eaten by ants"

"Trying to grab something out of my minivan while the automatic door is closing is the most Indiana Jones-y part of my day."

"Discipline in the Home by Wilma Child-Begood"

"When the doctor told me that he had fitted a thermostat instead of a pacemaker, I was livid. It made my blood boil."

"I think my iPhone is broken. I keep pressing the home button but I'm still at work!"

"They should make a gym for cops, called ""Stop Resisting""."

"Where do the good guys go? The friend zone..."

"Why did the serial killer become a chef? Because you can't make an omelette without killing a few chicks."

"From my 7-year-old: What type of phone does a hawk use? A hawkie talkie."