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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I joke about which of us is more competitive. But, I joke about it waaaay more than her."

"English class...... Teacher. One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it?? student. Future impossible tense."

"What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!"

"What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? ""I'm sweet on you!"" "

"Did you know that NASCAR fans are the easiest people to make fun of? As soon as they start chasing you down, all you have to do is turn right."

"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: I don't know, I'm no scientist"

"What did the vegetable say to the dj? lettuce turnip the beet"

"Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party."

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"Why bachelors are skinner than married men A bachelor goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, sighs, goes to bed. A married man goes into the bedroom, lifts the blanket, sighs, goes to the fridge."