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Joke of the Day

"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: I don't know, I'm no scientist"

"If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, ""I'll cut you."""

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"

"What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north? A pair of ducks."

"LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you"

"What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic? A rebel without a gauze."

"What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute. Sorry if repost."

"What did the palestinians give Yasser Arafat when he died? A 21 stone salute!"

"It's my wife birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she's in for a rude awakening. I'm buying her a Tourettes alarm clock."

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over? Because he's a dirty double crosser."