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Joke of the Day

"*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don't understand what a flash mob actually is."

"Did you hear about the man with the five penises? His Condoms fit like a glove."

"What do you say we make this a Not-so-Silent Night?"

"Why was the dolphin keeper depressed? Because he had no porpoise."

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"When most people say, ""I'm on a diet,"" what they mean is, ""I eat exactly as much as I normally do, but now I feel guilty about it."""

"At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I d ever seen."

"Who are the greatest philosophers today? The TSA. They are always asking people, ""Who are you?"", ""Where did you come from?"", ""Why are you here?"", and ""Where are you going?"""

"There is nothing more hypocritical than a Buddhist saying, ""YOLO"""

"You know that you have a terrible sense of humor... when you find that click-baiting is funny"