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Joke of the Day

"What was Thriller really about? A negromancer."

"next time you're considering wearing a fedora just think ""what would jesus do?"" because jesus wouldn't wear a fedora."

"When you say ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans"" all I hear is ""there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence""."

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue... ""Gorilla shot at Cincinnati Zoo."""

"Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan."

"Parenting tip: If your toddler is being quiet then they are probably doin somethin like tryin to flush the cat down the toilet."

"Pokemon GO is trying to fix its servers... It's not very effective."

"It's all fun and games until HR sends an email with ""Your Twitter Account"" in the subject line."

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"