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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop the dog trying to hump your leg? Suck his dick."

"Not to brag, but I still fit into the low self-esteem I wore in high school."

"I held the door open for a clown. It was a nice jester."

"If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say ""congratulations on your first book!"""

"What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s? Pol Potting mix."

"Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes."

"Mom I am 15 now, can I finally wear a bra? No John."

"I think a ladies pubic hair should be called... A muffstache."

"A black man and a feather fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The feather. The black man is stopped by the rope."

"Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down."