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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'm not voting for anyone CLINTON: that's a vote for Trump! TRUMP: that's a vote for Clinton! ME: looks like I'm voting twice then"

"What's the definition of 'vagina'? The box the penis comes in!"

"I've been to 3 different specialists at the Foxsworthy Institute and they still can't be sure whether or not I'm a Redneck. I'm losing hope"

"What did the slab of meat say when it was covered in salt and left out to dry? ""I'm cured!"""

"What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock? ""I don't have time for your ship."""

"My friends eyes are so skewed.. [Original Joke] He looks like a cow"

"""I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but-"" *The Devil appears* ""Please do not advocate for me, you are the fucking worst."""

"My friend got me a sweater for Christmas... I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but she did the trick."

"""Oh, a bubble bath! That sounds nice and refresHOLY SHIT Ahhhhhhh!"" - Lobsters"

"At what time does Sean Connery like to watch the Williams sisters play? Tennish."