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Joke of the Day

"""I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but-"" *The Devil appears* ""Please do not advocate for me, you are the fucking worst."""

"A broke baker goes into a bar the bartender asks him for a joke for a payment for the beer The baker is sad because he can only do buns"

"Whenever you see a sword swallower perform, it makes you wonder what sort of activities they used to do to make them realize they had this talent."

"Note to self: ""rubber"" in the US does NOT mean ""eraser"". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!"

"Vegans with children named 'Hunter' are why I lie awake at night."

"What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom? The place where all the dicks hang out."

"LPT: How to get out of murder/manslaughter charges. Become a police officer."

"Stop being racist to kettles."

"Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?"

"Bus trip Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'"