141123

Joke of the Day

"Just got a nosebleed. Thank God my head isn't pregnant!"

"Maybe the UN and NATO wouldn't be so upset with the Ukraine invasion if they weren't just Russian in?"

"[OC] Why Did the Paradox Cross the road? Because it didn't."

"Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"I think I've figured out Dr Who's first name Guess"

"What do you call an American girl who can run faster than her brothers? A Virgin."

"No one likes a motherfucker *Except for the mother*"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives."