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Joke of the Day

"Maybe the UN and NATO wouldn't be so upset with the Ukraine invasion if they weren't just Russian in?"

"In retrospect, when you look back at your own tweets, you cannot help but think how narcissistic you sound."

"What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !"

"What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? ""Are you sure it's mine?"""

"Nobody I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this"

"[blind date gets in car] Okay, I wanna have dinner early so we can go to Petco & watch 'em feed the snakes. Unless you wanna do Petco first."

"Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that."

"A recent study has linked alcohol to the risk of stroke in women... but i got a dick so lets drink!"

"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."

"Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont pay attention but call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget."