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Joke of the Day

"Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?"

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be."

"genders are like... genders are like the twin towers... there use to be 2 of them and now its just offensive to talk about it"

"What would Valve call the next world war? A Global Offensive."

"How do the Chinese vote? With their erections."

"What to do? What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and use more lube."

"Not only is it daylight savings time today, but also Int'l Women's Day. Because apparently a full 24 hours to celebrate women would have been just a bit much."

"What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs? We abuse"

"How does Alfred call batman for dinner? Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman!"

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"