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Joke of the Day

"[comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?"

"I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed... Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday."

"Two silk worms were in a race. They ended up in a tie."

"If doors have a website shouldn't windows have one too? We'd better or it will be curtains for us."

"What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin"

"Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive."

"There are 10 types of people Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect a teritary joke."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't Budget<drops mic> Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem."

"Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them a crossbar can't jump!"

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."