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Joke of the Day

"A message from a girl Received a messages from a girl, ""come quickly to me, there's nobody home."" I went. Indeed, there was no one."

"Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy? Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time."

"What's the atheist's view on God? Nahweh."

"""Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!"" *A long strand of smelly hair falls out the tower* ""Screw this!"""

"Sometimes I stand in front of a Redbox until a long line gathers behind me.. Then I'll yell. Where's the fucking Pepsi button on this thing?"

"I needed something to leave my door open.... So I left it ajar.... :'D"

"Why does Kim Jong Un so quick to anger? He's been holding in his shit for years"

"How do you kill a circus? Go straight for the juggler"

"What happened when hitler fell off his skateboard, and the wound got infected? He said ""now I have to cleanse my germy knee"""

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""