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Joke of the Day

"Breaking: CNN confirms planes need fuel to fly. In other news, scientist confirm brains are not needed to work at CNN."

"How many dwarfs does take to change a light bulb? It can vary, but It's quite hilarious to watch."

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maybe"

"I avoid making eye contact like my loneliness depends on it."

"People don't usually compliment me on my driving... But today I saw a note on my car that said ""PARKING FINE"". That was nice of them. ... I'll escort myself out."

"What did the tree do when he got really nervous? He SOILed his pants I'll^see^myself^out..."

"I post stuff in the wrong sub-reddits. AMA wait... FUCK"

"The first time a girl walked up to me and gave me her number I didn't know what to do so I ate it."

"I was wondering how the truck was getting so big... Then it hit me."

"Don't blindfold an Asian with a shoe lace. That's lacist."