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Joke of the Day

"*hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*"

Next Joke
 
"I was going to tell you guys a joke about science... But all of them argon..."
"This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis? It's all just white noise."
"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."
"Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar"
"Hey, wanna hear a Jew joke? Israeli funny"
"See if your child has learnt any swear words yet, by turning the wifi off while they're playing minecraft."
"Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say ""do you know who I am?"" because while I wait I like to be introspective"
"Please continue to tell me how the life you created for yourself is so miserable instead of taking actual steps to change it."
"Wife: Did you want to go to Comic Con? Me: *Google searches 'Is Emilia Clarke going to be on the Game of Thrones panel at Comic Con'* ""No"""