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Joke of the Day

"Pardon my french, other day a redditor corrected me and told me Snickering and Sniggering are almost the same word and mean near the same thing. so Knickers and... sneakers are the same also?"

"I don't make jokes I just watch the government and report the facts."

"What kind of shoes do ninjas use? Sneakers."

"The seventh rule of Fight Club is no one leaves until ALL the chairs are put away."

"5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole."

"I miss being a sperm. I wish life was simple again."

"I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did."

"Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror."

"I have absolutely no idea what the phrase ""saving room for dessert"" means."

"For a second I thought this cookie had raisins in it, but luckily they're just spider egg sacs."