73609
Joke of the Day
"Treat me like a semicolon and use me in all the wrong ways."
Next Joke
"I hired Lena Dunham and paid her candy To babysit my 1 y/o niece and clean her vagina. She was thorough."
"Why don't we drink chicken milk? It tastes fowl."
"My Wallet My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry :-("
"Use Angie's List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants."
"When the machines finally take over, prepare yourself for Pope Prius the First."
"What did one ass cheek say to the other? We gotta hold this shit together."
"Books vs. Mexicans Q: What do books have that Mexicans don't? A: Papers."
"If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?"
"My friend just told me I don't know how to make jokes. That's shit because I once sent ten of my puns to an online contest. No, they didn't make it to the finals... No pun in ten did."