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Joke of the Day
"Got an IPad from my black friend... And it runs faster."
Next Joke
"What do you call a girl who fucks dogs? Weird... Haha fuck naw you call em Whitney Wisconsin"
"Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement? It was actually sham-poo. *thunderous applause*"
"My girlfriend has her very own Indian name.... Running Late."
"Why aren't there any Jewish Jedis? Because they lose their Force skins :D"
"Just locked eyes with a four year old boy while I violently choked on a piece of popcorn. He didn't look away. He would have watched me die."
"An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone... ... she asks the carvers to write ""born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."" It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote ""Returned unopened."""
"I had a cough like that once... I didn't kick the bucket, I was just a little pail!"
"What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins."
"Fuck. I just mentioned that it was my birthday as a pickup line to this hot girl at the bar and her fat friend is now asking about cake."