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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor? He always shoves a Bill down her throat!"

"My wife takes 13 bikinis for a 4-day beach trip. Meanwhile, I'm rocking the swimming trunks my mom bought at K-Mart in 1991."

"Why did the lizard go on a diet ? It weighed too much for its scales !"

"What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? Both can smell it but can't eat it."

"Why did the paraplegic man cross the road? He couldn't"

"I'm going to take all of your tweets that make absolutely zero sense and combine them to make a Red Hot Chili Peppers song"

"The only folks who put them passwords on that fancy wi-fi internets is terrorists. This is Merica, land of the free."

"Whenever a stranger asks our baby's name, I always say he hasn't told us yet."

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."

"The orgy I hosted last night was a real letdown. Nobody came."