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Joke of the Day
"Looking in the mirror trying to grow up the nerve to ask my true love out. I hope I say yes."
Next Joke
"My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you"
"I'm wearing black with navy blue today. Fight me. Any bruising will only serve to tie it all together."
"Just heard someone screaming outside and my instinct was to turn up the TV. Whatever the opposite of a superhero is, I'm that."
"My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records until the librarian told me to take it out."
"hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume"
"Curious about sex"
"There are two good reasons never to drink water from the toilet. No 1 and No 2s!"
"I have zero empathy for sociopaths. But to be fair, they don't have any for me, either."
"Cop: Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there? Motorist: I thought you were saying ""Good morning Mr. Mayor."" Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town."