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Joke of the Day

"What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common? They both lie about their emissions."

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don't know Y I'll show myself the door."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? (a little nsfw) I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass!"

"Why did the guitarist get arrested? He got caught fingering A minor."

"What do you call the Israeli martial art? Jewjipsu"

"Cute cat ""Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds"" You mean sheds? ""No"" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]"

"What is the strictest part of a ship? The stern"

"Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list."

"Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights? Because he was soda-pressing"

"How do you start a rave in Ethopia??? You staple food on the ceilings."