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Joke of the Day
"What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear? An Amoeba."
Next Joke
"Paint thinner? Bullshit. Been painting myself with it all week. Still fat."
"My nine year old's yo momma joke Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake"
"Riding in the car with a chiropractor... ... when he clearly takes the wrong exit. I ask why and he says... ""I'm not driving us under there! You wanna get carpool tunnel syndrome!?"""
"Me and my friends.. My friend: Your dick is probably like a tic tac. Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh. Class: OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! #GetRekt scrub m8"
"""Son, I found a condom in your room"" ""Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""
"You know you have no attention span when you require a mental break while typing 140 characters."
"God and Lazarus God said to Lazarus, ""Come forth, and receive eternal life!"" However, Lazarus came fifth and received a toaster."
"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"
"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."