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Joke of the Day

"Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box."

Next Joke
 
"Shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give body armour manufacturers a bad name."
"So I'm balls deep in this guys ass and I go ahead and try to give him a reach-around... And he was hard.. How fucking gay is that?"
"A man is at a job interview Interviewer: it says here you had a 4 year gap in your resume Man: I went to Yale Interviewer: Your hired Man: Wow I finally got a yob"
"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"
"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."
"What did one testicle say to the other? ""Hey I hear your neighbor's a real dick"""
"The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!"
"If a mugger ever asks me to draw an uppercase cursive Q or he'll shoot, tell my family I died a hero... #hero #cootertales"
"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."