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Joke of the Day

"Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box."

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give body armour manufacturers a bad name."

"So I'm balls deep in this guys ass and I go ahead and try to give him a reach-around... And he was hard.. How fucking gay is that?"

"A man is at a job interview Interviewer: it says here you had a 4 year gap in your resume Man: I went to Yale Interviewer: Your hired Man: Wow I finally got a yob"

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."

"What did one testicle say to the other? ""Hey I hear your neighbor's a real dick"""

"The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!"

"If a mugger ever asks me to draw an uppercase cursive Q or he'll shoot, tell my family I died a hero... #hero #cootertales"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."