84912

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No teacher I'm having trouble listening!"

"Two muffins are sitting in the oven. When one muffin leans over to the other and says, ""boy it sure it's hot in here."" To which the other muffin responds, ""holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults? You'd spill your drink."

"Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny."

"I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"What did the bunny say to the frog? [My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYkDxsaHlkg)"

"*lowers car suspension to look more gangster* *takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*"

"Yo mama's so fat... ...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie."

"wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing"

"Let me tell you about the first time I had sex... I was scared, it was dark, and I was alone."