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Joke of the Day

"Last night, a cop pulled me over. ""Out of the car!"" he said. Then an Indian, fireman and construction worker appeared. We danced until dawn."

"Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game."

"If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board."

"[watching lion king] TIMON: hakuna matata ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries TIMON: it means no worries ME: see?"

"What's a KKK member's favorite car? A crossfire."

"Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school."

"Put the punchline in the title What's the best way to ruin a joke?"

"I've got a new job. I'm helping out a one-armed typist whenever she needs to type a capital letter. It's shift work"

"Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?"

"I named my son Kidding Me so whenever people say ""Are you kidding me"" he has to say yes. This is a bad joke thanks for your time"