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Joke of the Day

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins"

"What did the comedian say to the girl who looked like a virgin? ""You have untapped potential"""

"TIL Lebanese people are from the fugawi tribe. When they walked out of the airport they said we're the fugawi."

"My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement"

"Never trust a depressed elevator. It'll only bring you down."

"I just freaked out! I woke up from a nap to find that my phone and wife were missing. It's all good though. I found my phone."

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"Why did the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry!"

"Obi-Wan captured a Sith and bring him to Yoda. Obi-Wan: Should I kill the Sith or let him go? Yoda: Kill him... \*Obi-Wan executes the Sith.\* Yoda: ...you must not."

"Pac-man walks into Pizzeria... and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."