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Joke of the Day

"TIL Lebanese people are from the fugawi tribe. When they walked out of the airport they said we're the fugawi."

"So i picked up this girl the other night... And she was all like ""Put me down!!!"""

"Your momma's so fat . . . She has to lift up the toilet seat to take a shit."

"When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so... ...he spilled his guts to the cops."

"It's no fun when someone you're ignoring ignores you back."

"Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."

"Something I'll sadly never get back as a Jew My foreskin."

"The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog's poop."

"Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF"