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Joke of the Day

"I typed something into Google on my phone then held it to my ear. I felt stupid at first, but now I'm kinda mad that that doesn't work."

"What is the favourite part of Halloween for a pedophile? The home delivery."

"The worst part of eating vegetables getting them out the wheelchair"

"TIL I'm bad at posting at the right subreddit"

"What would MLK be if he was alive? White"

"As a Chinese comedian many people ask about my opinion on our government... I can't complain."

"Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing"

"Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? -The Aggie drove through a car wash"

"A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, ""How much for a beer?"" The bartender replied, ""For you, no charge."""

"New machine at the gym There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all. Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas."